Not Pregnant 

That was the conclusion of the second test.

No sooner had I finished my last post than I started spotting.  Apparently this too is quite common and can either be a remnant of your usual period hormones or an ’embedding’ bleed so I did not lose hope entirely.  However, during the course of the day I started having cramps which increased in intensity.  The bleeding did not really increase but remained an occasional watery spotting with a very slight sign of clotting.

I took the second test this morning after retiring with a hot water bottle early last night in an attempt to ease the cramps.  I half expected to wake up to a full blown period but I didn’t.  I was not expecting a positive result from the test though.  

It is disappointing but I am now keen to get back to ‘trying’ just not sure how to go about it when I have yet to have a period.  On my usual cycle I should be ovulating next week but this must have thrown it.  I am currently sat in the waiting room of my GP to discuss it with her.  

I don’t know whether I have actually been pregnant or whether it was just something that delayed my period.  I could have been reading more into the symptoms because I wanted them to mean I was pregnant.  

Been in to see the doc now, had a thorough examination (which did not reveal anything unusual) and she did not seem overly concerned by anything I told her.  All quite common.  Apparently I could still be pregnant and have to do another test next Monday.  They will test my urine and then I have to go in on Tuesday for a further consultation. 

So, all hope is not quite lost, not yet! Back to the cramps.

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Let the trials commence 

So, so far we have only been counting, approximating  when I am ovulating and increasing our activity accordingly. He’s been leaving it in, I’ve been lying on my back and doing the post-coital bridge famous amongst wannabe conceivers but that is the extent of it.

My research has been limited as pre-nuptial it was all about the wedding, we were doing all of the above but not thinking too hard about the fact it was not working.  It was the post-honeymoon return-to-work, return-to-life-without-a-wedding that did it.  I can now completely understand why people have babies immediately after getting married! 

So I started thinking about it, started to really think about it and started to really want to be pregnant, to have a baby.  I googled ‘ovulation’ and started accurately recording my cycle.  I think it is fairly short.

I have been on the contraceptive pill since I was about 15, dual reasons, heavy and painful periods and an increased interest in boys (which scared my poor mum silly, home town rep and all).  I have changed pill quite a few times, had a few issues over those 20 years with erosions, endometriosis scares etc. but nothing which would really raise fertility concerns.  

Coming off the pill was hard, to start with my periods were so irregular I was constantly tired, zapped of energy and I didn’t know whether I was coming or going.  They have almost settled now (I still start and stop a bit) and I seem to be on a 24 day cycle, give or take.  As well as the irregularity the pain returned, as did the ferocity of the flow! 

I have to take codeine for at least one day, sometimes up to 3, for the doubling-up cramps and at the start of my period proper I have to get up at least twice a night.  It does seem extreme but it’s not really something I discuss with friends so I don’t have any real comparison.  

I use a mooncup (www.mooncup.co.uk) and have done for years. I am reasonably environmentally conscious and that, coupled with not having to buy tampons/towels every month, was the driver for doing so.  I much prefer it, no waste, no fuss, but you have to clean it throroughly and it does give me an issue with thrush (irritation at the base I assume).  It is however struggling to cope with my natural flow, particularly in the first few days, hence the disturbed nights.  Being a girl is gross! 

So, anyway, back to taking it seriously, starting the blog, I looked at some other blogs about fertility and conception and found some tips.  Somebody recommended Agnus castus (which I think sounds like (i) a Harry Potter character, (ii) something that gives you food poisoning or (iii) a Latin legal term) and somebody else had had success with a fertility enhancing lubricant.  I decided to try both.

I went to Boots in my lunch hour to stock up (extremely conscious of running into a colleague or friend).  Agnus castus (which auto correct changes to Angus cactus) is strictly taken to relive the symptoms of PMS so that was innocent enough a purchase but the lube is right in amongst the pregnancy tests.  It is apparently a sperm life-jacket/turbo engine which helps them swim faster/better to propel them toward the egg.  I was on my period at the time so we both waited with baited breath to give it a go…