When the happiness of others feels like a kick in the teeth! 

Yes, I’ve got to that stage.  I was probably at that stage at the time of my last post, probably even before Christmas, but it’s getting worse.  

My newly pregnant friend is blooming and having a problem free pregnancy so far, an old adversary has a bonnie little baby which a mutual friend has recently met and an old friend has just announced that they’re expecting their second.  I would normally be happy for these people, for their happy news and share in their joy but I’m not, I’m becoming bitter, every new announcement is a stark reminder of the fact that I am not pregnant, not expecting, do not have a baby on the way.  

We are still making no progress and work commitments have prevented me from going back to the GP for my test results in recent weeks. I am hoping that if they did show something worrying she would have called me by now but that is no consolation for the lack of progress.  

One of my closest friends (and my goddaughter) visited last week and I haven’t seen her in a while.  I think she expected me to be pregnant, she expected an announcement.  I’ve not told her we are actively trying but given my age, and the time since the wedding now, it’s what people expect.  I am sure my mum feels the same.  She asked, she asked when we’d be having a baby.  I found that a bit insensitive but she is not known for her tact.  As she has given up trying for her second now (after 5 years) I thought that she would realise that that type of question is inappropriate, and can hurt! What can you say in response?! “I’m not sure it’s our decision to make”? “We’re trying our best”? “God knows”! 

Other than that I have learnt that one of my other friends had acupuncture when she was trying and, after a while, she conceived.  I hate needles and had a horrible experience with acupuncture a few years ago but I may well give it a go.  If I go to the same person she saw hopefully he will not butcher me like the last one did! It’s worth a try, anything is!